A Retreat
by shattered petal
Summary: Sonic is riddled with horrors of his past, and is struck with fear when memories come flooding back. Thankfully, he has someone to keep him company and offer support. -Sonic/Blaze


**author's note**: I had to write "fluff", so here is fluff. Sonic/Blaze oneshot requested by _groovy-blaze_ on Tumblr. Hope you all enjoy! Feedback is appreciated. Cheers.

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**Title**: A Retreat  
**Genre**: Romance/Hurt/Comfort  
**Rating**: K+  
**Couple**: Sonic/Blaze

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The war had ceased for now. Sonic didn't require much time to recover: he was a relatively impatient boy, usually with himself. The idea of lying around and waiting for his wounds to heal sounded scandalous. Despite Tails's lectures to Sonic that if he didn't rest he would probably end up with two broken legs, Sonic escaped the bed and ventured outside.

South Island was always warm. The sun was fond of it, and the sea appeared gorgeous when the light hit the salty water. Much to his pleasure, the beach was deserted. Marine was probably with Tails, trying to create a vehicle to send them back home. Blaze had business to deal with, regarding the Sol Emeralds and Jewelled Sceptre, while The Coconut Crew were probably discovering materials in an attempt to aid Tails.

Personally, Sonic wouldn't have minded some company. He was very social after all. No one seemed to notice how much he depended on another's presence. The idea of being alone frightened him. It was a topic he had no desire to touch, but knew it was something which couldn't be ignored forever. His childhood wasn't the kindest. Abandonment was one of his greatest fears.

Not to worry, though. Sonic needed to have some "alone" time anyway. Sitting down in the shade of a palm tree, he leaned back and studied the sea. The waves were gentle and small, creating a soothing noise. If Sonic didn't have so much on his mind, he would have fallen to sleep without a problem. Silence was blissful.

Yet silence was also dangerous. Sonic swallowed, peeling his eyes away from the sea. It _was_ terribly quiet. The seagulls which usually vacated the area were not seen, and he was surprised to not have heard Marine's booming voice by now. He looked down, noticing a couple of grazes across his arms, and started to have silly thoughts: maybe he should go back to the hut and apply more cream.

It would give him something to do.

Unsure whether to feel embarrassed or to shrug off his insecurity, Sonic scrambled to his feet and returned back to the hut. He scratched his head, distracted by his thoughts. How long had it been since he felt that way? The last time he was paranoid about being abandoned was almost seven years ago. The days before he knew Tails.

Thankfully the hut was empty when he arrived. Sonic searched for the medical equipment and soon found it stashed away in a cupboard. It was only when he grabbed the plasters did he realise how stupid he was behaving. All of this was a distraction, a way to keep his mind off his huge phobia. How pathetic. How _ridiculous_. Why couldn't he just admit to his flaws?

Frustrated, he began to peel at a plaster's covering, but failed. He was starting to panic. What about? About being abandoned, or in fear of someone discovering his phobia? Either way, Sonic was not helping his cause. Pride. It was all about pride. The boy was too damn proud to admit he wasn't perfect like everyone assumed he was.

Sonic gave in and threw the plaster aside angrily. This was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

In his state of frustration he didn't notice the purple feline hovering in the doorway. When Sonic spotted her, he instantly froze. How much had she seen? It must have looked hilarious watching him dig into a box of plasters and then chuck them away like a child. However, to his relief, Blaze didn't express any signs of amusement or concern. Unless she was pretending.

An A3 sheet of paper was tucked under her arm, and she stepped further inside. 'Tails caught me as I was returning. He wanted to show you this: the blueprints for his latest invention. Hopefully it will bring you both back to your Realm.'

Without a thought Sonic took the paper from her and spread it across the table. In all honesty, he wasn't that interested right now. He noticed his hands were shaking and his heart pace was faster than normal. It was remarkable how the slightest trigger could create so much damage. Unfortunately, Blaze was too good when it came to studying body language.

'Mm, yeah I see what he's done here,' Sonic said, pointing to a part of the vehicle Tails had drawn. Of course he wasn't entirely sure _what_ Tails had "done here". He wasn't necessarily an expert with machinery, but he didn't want Blaze registering any odd signs of behaviour.

What aggravated him was that he couldn't _help it_. Even though he was reading from a big sheet of paper, he still couldn't forget. He couldn't forget how his mother deserted him, her face when she vanished from his sight. Sonic clenched a fist, trying to stop the trembling. It was horrible how he remembered his mother's face so clearly.

The amount of years he spent alone, with no one beside him. The amount of years he spent scavenging for food and searching for his parents. It didn't take him long to discover they were both dead; murdered. His mother had kept him somewhere safe, away from a "monster" (Sonic had yet to find out who this "monster" was), and she died in doing so. While she didn't _want_ to abandon him, she still did, and Sonic could never forget how that felt.

It was probably one of the reasons he was able to relate to Blaze. When they fought, the things she said to him didn't trigger any harmful memories. Instead, all he could do was sigh in relief. There was another like him who knew what it was like to be alone, and have the world on their shoulders. Blaze was different, though. She had her ministers and allies. He had no one.

'What are you thinking about?'

Sonic was brought back to reality when Blaze spoke. He cleared his throat and rolled back his shoulders. 'I'm just wondering how long it's gonna take long to make this. After all, I'm sure you want us back as soon as possible, right?'

'You can put it that way if you want,' she said.

Sonic avoided her gaze, aware she was studying him. The boy's cheeks flushed, but not out of bashfulness. He knew she knew something was wrong, and it was clear she wanted him to reveal. Sonic rolled the A3 sheet of paper, and passed it back to her.

'You can return this to Tails.'

Blaze took the paper, her eyes on his trembling hand. 'Do you remember some of the lessons you taught me? About friendship.'

Retreating his shaking hand, Sonic nodded. 'Yeah.'

'You said it was important to talk to a friend if one was ever in trouble. Sonic, you seem to be in trouble.'

'It'll pass.' Then he looked at her and smiled. It was forced. Sonic's smiles were never forced.

Blaze said nothing for a moment; she was frowning, inspecting him as if he was an old book she'd just discovered. Full of mysteries and answers. Of course he was exactly that. A mystery. She always thought there was something unique about him, always knew he acted how did for a reason. What sort of reason, she wasn't aware.

Naturally Sonic didn't appreciate this. He was about to move away, to turn his twitching face away from her sight, but she stopped him.

'I care about you. I really do. Something isn't right.'

'Like I said, it'll pass.'

'Will it?' Blaze insisted, then her voice softened. 'You're shaking.'

Maybe it was the tenderness of her voice, or maybe it was the fact she cared, or maybe it was the fact she noticed, but Sonic was at a loss. What he felt on the beach was out-of-order and he hated himself for letting his issues slide. He wanted to believe he was an example to Blaze, someone she could look up to. That was what he wanted.

How could she look up to him if he was scared his friends would leave?

When he spoke, his voice betrayed him, 'I'm fine.' Now, before her, he was no longer the fancy-free hedgehog everyone adored. Now, before her, he was a kid without a mother to hold him. He was just a baby, lost and hurt. For years he was someone who he truly wasn't. His reasons for acting how he did was out of fear.

Oh Gods, if Tails discovered this... Sonic gulped. No, he wouldn't be able to handle it.

'Sonic.'

'I don't want to talk about it,' he said, 'I'm sorry. It's stupid.'

'What happened?'

He should walk away. He should walk away and forget, but he couldn't. In some aspects, he wanted Blaze to demand answers from him. He wanted Blaze to smack him over the head. He wanted Blaze to stay, because he was too frightened she would turn away if he didn't open up. Then again, maybe she would leave if she discovered what a weak fool he was.

It was a no-win scenario. Sonic wished he could turn back time, to when he taught Blaze what friendship meant. That was a time she saw him as a heroic, strong and powerful man. That was a time she considered him as a friend, because he was something she wasn't. She was his missing piece. How could his plans fall apart? And so _easily_.

'I was reminded of...' Sonic couldn't finish his sentence. Images flashed in his mind and he struggled to contain himself. He remembered how he screamed for his mother, begged for her return, how he yelled at the air and wept bitterly. Tears pricked his eyes and he swallowed hard, attempting to keep down a cry. He shouldn't act this way in front of Blaze.

The A3 paper fell to the ground and two warm hands held his face. She brought him closer, their foreheads touching. Sonic inhaled sharply, then exhaled, closed his eyes. It was impressive how she transmitted so much heat to him, and he drank it all greedily, but she helped. Having her close, holding him, helped and he wished she would never let him go. To never, ever abandon him.

'You're not stupid.'

Sonic tensed and she brushed a thumb across his cheek.

'I don't want you to think like that again.'

The paranoia was evaporating, and he wondered if she knew what he remembered, if she was aware he was scared of everyone leaving his side. Sonic opened his eyes slightly, then sighed. Blaze was right: he shouldn't have this sort of philosophy. Emotions didn't equal weakness, not even for the famous Sonic the Hedgehog.

Finally, he could say it, 'I don't want to be alone.'

In those few seconds afterwards, the atmosphere felt like ice. Yet he soon remembered the heat at his cheeks, the girl holding him, the girl who _understood_. Somehow, she had the ability to let Sonic reveal his most shameful fear. And he didn't regret it once.

What happened next was a little surprising. Blaze smiled, and this was the first time he had ever witnessed her smile properly. He had never seen a more wonderful smile.

'You won't be, but if you're ever worried you'll be placed in that situation, don't keep it inside. If I weren't here, I dread to know what would have happened.'

'I gave you the wrong impression about me.'

'Did you?' Blaze challenged. 'Sonic, you must think me an idiot. Everyone has a reason to act like they do. You don't have to tell me what occurred in the past–– I have no desire of knowing if you're reluctant to tell. I think, the way you get round your fear, it's very clever and admirable. Helping people who feel lost. You're almost helping yourself in some aspects.'

Sonic dropped his gaze, raised his hands and rubbed his eyes. He hoped it wasn't tears which were threatening to escape. 'But what if, one day, I am alone again?'

'If that would happen, you should know I'd never leave you.'

'What if you don't have a choice? What if you die?' Sonic began to tremble again. 'What if I lose everyone through death? I place so many people in danger. I don't even think about it.'

'Then don't.' Sonic didn't recognise the action at first. Her hands fell from his face and she brought both arms around the back of his neck, before kissing him. Sonic was stunned, but welcomed the affection, closing his eyes and allowing the kiss to last a little longer than five seconds. 'I'd hate to lose you as well.'

Possibly out of curiosity or due to a simple boost of confidence, Sonic leaned in for another kiss, hugging her with both arms at her waist. This was nice, something he certainly wouldn't mind doing again and again with her. Sonic was appreciative that she didn't push him off, that would have been embarrassing and hurtful.

Then he realised she had just discovered how sensitive he could be. Was that _attractive_? The duration of their kiss lasted longer than the previous, and it was Sonic who broke away this time. An odd expression was written across his face, and Blaze sniggered slightly. 'What?'

'Do you like me more because I admitted I can get emotional?'

It was hard to force down the smile. 'No, I like you all the same.' She leaned in for an embrace, and whispered in his ear, 'I always knew you were emotional anyway.'

A sense of relief flourished through him and he squeezed her affectionately. It was fortunate Blaze caught him when she did, but she wouldn't be catching him next time. Soon, he would be heading back home. Sonic's heart dropped and it felt as if a black cloud now hung over his head. It was nice what happened, but it wasn't permanent.

_It isn't abandonment_, he told himself. Sonic wasn't abandoning her, and she wasn't abandoning him. Their separation was fixed; they were only meant to meet for specific reasons. Still, that didn't help the sadness welling up in his chest. Whatever he felt for Blaze, he wasn't sure, but he would have liked to discover what it was. To do this, he would need her near. To help.

'Have you told Tails?'

'No.' Not completely. In fact, he hadn't informed Blaze completely what was wrong with him either. 'I can't.'

'What you and Tails have is special. I doubt he would betray you for feeling upset. Maybe he also endures the same trauma; you both just can't confess.'

'Maybe,' Sonic exhaled.

'I don't want you feeling alone.'

It was a different experience witnessing Blaze like this, but Sonic wasn't going to complain. Her vulnerability aided him in a way. Yet the very reason why Sonic couldn't tell Tails hadn't been discovered properly. True, he didn't want Tails to walk away from him due to his fear, but there was also something else.

Then it clicked. 'He'll be disappointed.'

'What, that you endure emotions like the rest of us?'

Sonic said nothing.

'I lose my temper more than I'd like to admit, usually with those I conduct business with. If they can tolerate my hotheadedness every now and again, I don't see why Tails wouldn't be able to understand your situation. To me, he doesn't seem the type to feel disappointed when one is honest. He's a sensitive boy, and he loves you. I think anyone can figure that out just by spending ten seconds with you both.'

'When did you become so knowledgeable about loyalty?'

'Who do you think I am?'

Sonic smirked and dropped his gaze. 'Touché.'

Placing a hand at his jawline, Blaze kissed his cheek. 'I can keep Marine entertained–– that won't be tricky. You can tell Tails, but don't if you feel forced.'

'Nah, I feel okay.'

Yes, Sonic's heart was in his mouth, but Blaze was encouraging. He was still recovering from the images of his past, and it would be best he inform Tails now he was in this state, than if he wasn't. After today, he wouldn't want to return back to this horror, and if it ever did happen, at least Tails would be there to comfort him.

'Thank you.'

A smile. One for him. 'That's why I'm here.'

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**author's note**: Be assured that Tails _does_ understand and is more than happy to keep Sonic company every day. The idea of Sonic's past came from a fellow author, and she/he really inspired me with how they analysed Sonic's behaviour. I never really took an interest into why he acts like he does, and this seems to be a reasonable solution. Thank you for reading!


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